Puppy Monkets! It's me!
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Sunday, May 13, 2012
5/13/2012 | 
Posted by
Sham-Rock
When Mother’s Day rolls around, it always gets me thinking of the special women who have been influential in my life… Those precious women who have taught me, guided me, been examples to me, encouraged me, and stood by me… So, today, Mothers’ Day, in honor of a few of the wonderful women God has blessed me with in my life, I thought I would share exactly why they are so precious to me…
The first woman I want to tell you about has been one of my best and closest friends for approximately fifteen years. She started out as my Youth Leader at church, then became my Sunday School teacher, and when I was fifteen years old, we, along with the rest of the youth group and leaders, went on a mission trip to Italy, where, in a private moment, this beautiful, precious, vivacious woman shared part of her testimony with me, and thanks to her example, her honesty, and her guidance, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord, and Savior that night, and I have never been the same since. This woman has stood by my side, both literally and figuratively, always being honest with me, loving me, encouraging me, praying with and for me… She has cried with me, laughed with me, told me when I was being a brat or making bad choices, and she has celebrated with me over victories. She has held me accountable, defended me, helped me to grow in maturity, in faith, and in grace. She has been an example of a courageous, bold, passionate wife, mother, daughter, and friend, and has taught me that standing up for what is right and for God’s holy truth, and being myself – the person God has designed and called me to be – in order to glorify and honor Him is what matters most in this life. She has taught me about the importance of having integrity, being trustworthy, being honest, and standing strong on the things that matter… She has also taught me that there is often a difference between Biblical truth and someone’s opinion/preference. She is one of the few people in my life who, no matter how rarely we get to see each other, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked, we always pick right up where we left off. She is one of the few who I know I could call for any reason, at any time, and that she would come running if I needed her. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. So, Kelly W., I love you, my friend, and I cherish you, your family, and our friendship. Thank you for being you, and for loving me the way you do.
The next woman I want to tell you about is someone who loves God and people more genuinely than anyone I’ve ever known. This precious woman is a shining example of what it means to truly live your faith. She gives of herself with fervor, always choosing to serve those around her – even complete strangers. She was one of the first people in my life who, when she learned I needed prayer about something, didn’t just say “I’ll pray for you”; instead, she grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s pray.” ~ She truly has that meek and gentle spirit, and being around her makes me feel closer to the Lord. Talking with her, spending time with her strengthens the desire in my heart to seek God and follow Him. She exhuberates joy, even as she goes through significant trials... She has taught me to look for God in every little detail of life, as she shares with me all of the ways she sees Him working and revealing himself in her own life ~ whether it be through a hospital stay or a trip to the beach or in a fussy child or a gift from a friend or in preparing a meal… By example, she has taught me to open my eyes and take notice that God isn’t just some distant person who we check in with and read about at church on Sundays… He is all around us, intricately involved in every minute detail of our lives, weaving a beautiful tapestry out of things that we so often overlook… and she has taught me that sometimes, even the things we deem as ugly or bad or unnecessary or hurtful are things that He is using and will often make something amazing and beautiful out of them… I have only known her for a short few years, but it seems like we have been through a lifetime together. She and her family have become such important parts of my life. Through them – through her – I have learned, by not only talking with her, but by observing her actions, how to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter and friend, and I have seen a true example of what it means to “love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5) Marilyn C., you are the God-Mother of my children. I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have taught me what it means to submit to God, submit to my husband, and that being a good mother, wife, woman, does not mean following a cookie-cutter pattern ~ that it is about following the Lord and letting Him show me what will work best for my individual family, without worrying about what other people think, or what other people are or are not doing. You have taught me to stop looking at other people as my go-to example and to focus on Jesus Christ, letting God’s word and His Holy Spirit be my guide. Thank you for encouraging me in my faith and in so many other ways. I love you.
Next is a woman I have known for about 10 years or so now. She has a quiet, graceful spirit, but she is also one of the strongest women I know. She has exemplified what it means to have an amazingly strong work ethic. She is a true southern belle, sweet, loving, faithful, and she has a heart for family and a deep love for the Lord. One of the things she has taught me is the importance of not taking things – especially people – for granted. She is a true steel magnolia, beautiful, full of grace, standing strong no matter what life throws her way ~ even in the midst of battles, sorrows, hurts, and fears, she draws on the strength of the Lord to carry her through; she never gives up. From her, I have learned what it means to truly be a lady. She has taught me the importance of putting first things first, and not letting other less or un-important things get in the way of what matters most. She has taught me that it is important to learn from your mistakes, and to look to God for guidance as to how to correct things. She has been a true example of faithfulness, always consistent in keeping her commitments and honoring her word. She has been a courageous example of self-control, goodness, and gentleness, and has taught me by example what it looks like to honor and respect your husband. I’ve always heard horror stories of mothers-in-law, and how awful they can be. I am thankful that I’ve had the opposite experience, and that I have a Godly mother-in-love who is kind and loving and sweet, and who I count as a friend. Thank you, Gail S., for being a wonderful blessing in my life.
The last woman I want to tell you about is someone who I have known all my life. She has been my biggest supporter, encourager, the person wanting nothing but the best for me and always doing whatever she can to help me succeed. She is someone who has bent over backwards taking care of me, serving me, blessing me. She has made countless sacrifices for the simple reason that she loves me, often without any recognition or thanks, many times going completely unnoticed. She has taught me the value of giving of yourself for the love of another person. She has taught me what it means to work hard and well. She is one of the most giving, supportive, helpful people I know, always willing to step in and do what needs to be done in order to help someone else or to make something happen. She has taught me the importance of both holding my tongue when necessary, and also speaking my mind when it matters. She has been there for me – always – rooting me on, cheering for me, dishing out tough love when I needed it, and always telling and showing me in every way she knew how exactly how much she loves me. She has taught me how much fun it is to play with my kids. I have watched her face seemingly impossible, sometimes terrifying, circumstances with immense strength and determination; she has taught me that just because things are hard, there is no reason to give up. Because of her example, I have learned to stand strong through the trials that come in life, and because of the strength she taught me, instilled in me, I have overcome countless obstacles. She is the one who taught me to be silly, and she is the one who snuggled up with me to watch Cinderella or The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast for the ten thousandth time, without complaint... She kept my secrets, and loved me at times when I was at my absolute worst. She held me when I cried, and rejoiced with me in times of happiness. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams and goals, and told me I was beautiful, even though I didn’t always feel that way. She kept me safe and loved me even when I made mistakes. She would give up just about any/everything in her possession in order to meet the needs of my family. She volunteers tirelessly, and she has taught me the importance and significance of “behind the scenes” work, by doing things that people notice, but never think about until they aren’t done. She is strong and beautiful and dedicated and faithful. She is an amazing and incredible woman, and without her, not only would I not be the person I am, but I would not be here at all! ;oP She is my Mamma, and I love her indescribably. Shannon B., thank you for… everything… You are precious to me and I am so thankful for you…
Happy Mothers Day <3
The first woman I want to tell you about has been one of my best and closest friends for approximately fifteen years. She started out as my Youth Leader at church, then became my Sunday School teacher, and when I was fifteen years old, we, along with the rest of the youth group and leaders, went on a mission trip to Italy, where, in a private moment, this beautiful, precious, vivacious woman shared part of her testimony with me, and thanks to her example, her honesty, and her guidance, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord, and Savior that night, and I have never been the same since. This woman has stood by my side, both literally and figuratively, always being honest with me, loving me, encouraging me, praying with and for me… She has cried with me, laughed with me, told me when I was being a brat or making bad choices, and she has celebrated with me over victories. She has held me accountable, defended me, helped me to grow in maturity, in faith, and in grace. She has been an example of a courageous, bold, passionate wife, mother, daughter, and friend, and has taught me that standing up for what is right and for God’s holy truth, and being myself – the person God has designed and called me to be – in order to glorify and honor Him is what matters most in this life. She has taught me about the importance of having integrity, being trustworthy, being honest, and standing strong on the things that matter… She has also taught me that there is often a difference between Biblical truth and someone’s opinion/preference. She is one of the few people in my life who, no matter how rarely we get to see each other, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked, we always pick right up where we left off. She is one of the few who I know I could call for any reason, at any time, and that she would come running if I needed her. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. So, Kelly W., I love you, my friend, and I cherish you, your family, and our friendship. Thank you for being you, and for loving me the way you do.
The next woman I want to tell you about is someone who loves God and people more genuinely than anyone I’ve ever known. This precious woman is a shining example of what it means to truly live your faith. She gives of herself with fervor, always choosing to serve those around her – even complete strangers. She was one of the first people in my life who, when she learned I needed prayer about something, didn’t just say “I’ll pray for you”; instead, she grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s pray.” ~ She truly has that meek and gentle spirit, and being around her makes me feel closer to the Lord. Talking with her, spending time with her strengthens the desire in my heart to seek God and follow Him. She exhuberates joy, even as she goes through significant trials... She has taught me to look for God in every little detail of life, as she shares with me all of the ways she sees Him working and revealing himself in her own life ~ whether it be through a hospital stay or a trip to the beach or in a fussy child or a gift from a friend or in preparing a meal… By example, she has taught me to open my eyes and take notice that God isn’t just some distant person who we check in with and read about at church on Sundays… He is all around us, intricately involved in every minute detail of our lives, weaving a beautiful tapestry out of things that we so often overlook… and she has taught me that sometimes, even the things we deem as ugly or bad or unnecessary or hurtful are things that He is using and will often make something amazing and beautiful out of them… I have only known her for a short few years, but it seems like we have been through a lifetime together. She and her family have become such important parts of my life. Through them – through her – I have learned, by not only talking with her, but by observing her actions, how to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter and friend, and I have seen a true example of what it means to “love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5) Marilyn C., you are the God-Mother of my children. I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have taught me what it means to submit to God, submit to my husband, and that being a good mother, wife, woman, does not mean following a cookie-cutter pattern ~ that it is about following the Lord and letting Him show me what will work best for my individual family, without worrying about what other people think, or what other people are or are not doing. You have taught me to stop looking at other people as my go-to example and to focus on Jesus Christ, letting God’s word and His Holy Spirit be my guide. Thank you for encouraging me in my faith and in so many other ways. I love you.
Next is a woman I have known for about 10 years or so now. She has a quiet, graceful spirit, but she is also one of the strongest women I know. She has exemplified what it means to have an amazingly strong work ethic. She is a true southern belle, sweet, loving, faithful, and she has a heart for family and a deep love for the Lord. One of the things she has taught me is the importance of not taking things – especially people – for granted. She is a true steel magnolia, beautiful, full of grace, standing strong no matter what life throws her way ~ even in the midst of battles, sorrows, hurts, and fears, she draws on the strength of the Lord to carry her through; she never gives up. From her, I have learned what it means to truly be a lady. She has taught me the importance of putting first things first, and not letting other less or un-important things get in the way of what matters most. She has taught me that it is important to learn from your mistakes, and to look to God for guidance as to how to correct things. She has been a true example of faithfulness, always consistent in keeping her commitments and honoring her word. She has been a courageous example of self-control, goodness, and gentleness, and has taught me by example what it looks like to honor and respect your husband. I’ve always heard horror stories of mothers-in-law, and how awful they can be. I am thankful that I’ve had the opposite experience, and that I have a Godly mother-in-love who is kind and loving and sweet, and who I count as a friend. Thank you, Gail S., for being a wonderful blessing in my life.
The last woman I want to tell you about is someone who I have known all my life. She has been my biggest supporter, encourager, the person wanting nothing but the best for me and always doing whatever she can to help me succeed. She is someone who has bent over backwards taking care of me, serving me, blessing me. She has made countless sacrifices for the simple reason that she loves me, often without any recognition or thanks, many times going completely unnoticed. She has taught me the value of giving of yourself for the love of another person. She has taught me what it means to work hard and well. She is one of the most giving, supportive, helpful people I know, always willing to step in and do what needs to be done in order to help someone else or to make something happen. She has taught me the importance of both holding my tongue when necessary, and also speaking my mind when it matters. She has been there for me – always – rooting me on, cheering for me, dishing out tough love when I needed it, and always telling and showing me in every way she knew how exactly how much she loves me. She has taught me how much fun it is to play with my kids. I have watched her face seemingly impossible, sometimes terrifying, circumstances with immense strength and determination; she has taught me that just because things are hard, there is no reason to give up. Because of her example, I have learned to stand strong through the trials that come in life, and because of the strength she taught me, instilled in me, I have overcome countless obstacles. She is the one who taught me to be silly, and she is the one who snuggled up with me to watch Cinderella or The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast for the ten thousandth time, without complaint... She kept my secrets, and loved me at times when I was at my absolute worst. She held me when I cried, and rejoiced with me in times of happiness. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams and goals, and told me I was beautiful, even though I didn’t always feel that way. She kept me safe and loved me even when I made mistakes. She would give up just about any/everything in her possession in order to meet the needs of my family. She volunteers tirelessly, and she has taught me the importance and significance of “behind the scenes” work, by doing things that people notice, but never think about until they aren’t done. She is strong and beautiful and dedicated and faithful. She is an amazing and incredible woman, and without her, not only would I not be the person I am, but I would not be here at all! ;oP She is my Mamma, and I love her indescribably. Shannon B., thank you for… everything… You are precious to me and I am so thankful for you…
Happy Mothers Day <3
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Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I just killed a spider the size of China.
Ok, so not really, but it sounds dramatic, right?! I mean, there I was minding my own business, lounging on the couch, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. At first, I think I am imagining it, because upon looking, I don't see anything on the rug in the dining room, but I get up to check anyway just because I know if I don't, I will wake up to a monstrous snake or something wrapped around my dining table in the morning. SO... I get up and finally see it: this FREAKY looking spider w/ legs longer than a European super model's and about 1000 beady eyes - and they're all STARING at me. OH MY WORD!
SO... I start looking for things to squoosh it with - because of course, I'm barefoot and there's NO WAY I'm getting any closer than 10 feet from this thing - it's about half the size of a dollar bill (aka China - hello!) and could launch some kind of ninja counter attack against me at any minute. So, I'm running around, afraid to go into the other room because the second I let the monster out of my sight, I know it will go into hiding and begin plotting against me in the night. Then I see my defense: my 2 year old's tennis shoe. I pick it up and hurl it at the spider.
FYI: toddler sized shoes for spiders the size of China do not work so well in the squooshing department. This knowledge base was reinforced when I hurled my son's OTHER shoe at it, also missing, but not by enough to keep the creature from getting mad. By this time, the thing was spinning around in a fashion that somewhat reminded me of that all-too-well-known scene from The Exorcist (not that I've seen the movie; I've just heard about it). Then, I saw my saving grace!!!! (Bright, heavenly light shines down; angelic music plays mystically in the background) A box!!!
Thankfully, a friend had mailed a package for the kids that had arrived the day before, and there sat the empty box - it was heavy duty cardboard, solid, firm - and most importantly: BIG. I picked it up, making sure it was sealed closed - I didn't want the spider getting inside and turning it into some kind of hideout or something. Then, I slowly tiptoed over towards the rug, being careful to stay far enough back so that I can duck for cover if I miss and the freak arachnid decides to go all bad-spiderman on me or something.
I find my pitching position, I aim, and in the fastest slow motion I've ever seen, I throw the box at the spider. It lands on him and bounces off, as I take off running in the opposite direction. YEESSSS!!! I GOT HIM!!! I cautiously make my way back over to the area. I see his somewhat crippled and withered body, crumpled there on my rug, and then, he starts twitching.
Yes, I said "twitching".
Now, let me tell you, you just don't know wierd (or gross) until you've seen a spider twitching. I figure the creature is a mutant and will come back to life at any moment, so I pick up the box, careful not to touch the side that landed on him - nasty!) and use it to push him off of my rug, onto the wood floor, where I proceed to drown him in a shower of Raid. HAHA! Victory!!! I grab my broom and dust pan, and using the box again, I hold the dust pan in place so I can, from a distance, sweep his nasty little bug body into it. I would have held it, but spiders are sneaky little creatures - you never know when they're just playing dead. Like I said, "China" - this thing was industrial!
SO... I get him scooped up and dump him in the trash, but the little booger won't fall to the bottom ~ I have to get out my gloves and an empty milk jug, and of course, my good ole' trusty box :o) and use them to mash the trash down so that if that nasty thing does decide to come back to life, he'll have to go through today's supply of dirty diapers to get back to me. Beat THAT creature!!!
Now, here I am, back on the couch, looking around, slightly paranoid, and eyeing that suspicious looking piece of fuzz that keeps floating around the floor on the other side of the room. All I know is, that fuzz had better be careful: one gust of wind in the wrong direction and my box and I just might take it out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is a true story that happened to me a week or so ago. As you can tell, I am slightly afraid of spiders. I always have been. Every time I see a spider, my body just begins to tremble with this intense fear and anxiety, and that fact got me thinking…
We all have spiders in our lives. Not literal spiders necessarily, but rather things that creep into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes unwelcomed, unwanted… Sometimes, those things are frightening, sometimes they are saddening, overwhelming, hurtful. Sometimes they bring anger and frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and then there are even times when the “spiders” that appear in our lives leave us shaken to the core, almost paralyzed by their venom… For us Military wives, so many times, those things - those “spiders – come creeping in during deployments and/or separations.
During those times, we are usually physically on our own. We have our jobs/duties, our kids, our homes, the whole kit and caboodle – it is all resting on our shoulders. It is up to us to do everything; to keep our world around us going when our spouse is hundreds, or even thousands of miles away from us.
In those times, we often feel alone. Sure, there are days that aren’t so bad, and we do alright, but we’ve all had those moments when we just reach our breaking point. The teenager is acting out again; the house is a mess; the grocery store was packed and out of half the items on your list; the car needs an oil change; the baby is teething, sick, and cranky; the deadline for your project at work is approaching quicker than you can prepare; your back is aching; your college classes are far more demanding than you could have imagined; the washing machine just broke – again; the dog just ate your favorite pair of shoes; and you haven’t had a moment to yourself in weeks. There is a lot of stress that we all have to deal with on a daily basis, and many times, that “spider” we call stress, can fill us with the venom of tension, bitterness, anger, and resentment – IF we let it.
BUT, if we choose to look at things through a new light, we can see how God is using those things to work in us and through us in our everyday lives.
For example, remember my spider incident? Well, God used that to show me that He is faithful and will provide me with the strength and courage needed to accomplish whatever comes up. You see, had my husband been home when that horrid little thing came creeping out, I would have been in hysterics, jumping up onto the couch, hollering for him to come and “rescue me”. However, instead, God chose to wait until I was alone – on my own – at night – hours away from any close friends/family – to bring that spider into my life. God put me in a position where I had to make a choice: I could either be afraid and let the spider paralyze me and just give it free reign in the house, which would leave me in constant fear and paranoia knowing it was there, OR, I could be afraid and trust in the peace that He always gives, and lean on Him to give me the courage I need to “squoosh” the thing.
I have two young children – a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Our 2 year old son is very close with his Daddy, and he was handling this very lengthy deployment well, up until his Daddy came home for 2 weeks on Leave then had to go back overseas. Since then, our son has been acting out and showing some extreme signs of separation anxiety. It has been very rough dealing with that, and there have been several moments where I feel as though I have just reached my limit when it comes to patience. There are some days where it’s as though all I do is discipline him, and those days are frustrating for both of us. But, God continually renews my strength, and in those moments when I am at my wits end, and the “spider” just seems to be too big to handle, He brings to mind all of the reasons why I love our son so much…
Also during this deployment, our 1 year old daughter began having seizures. About 4 months ago, at 9 months old, she had the first of about 20 seizures. She has been in and out of the ER, hospitals, doctor’s offices, etc... She has seen/is seeing specialists, and has undergone countless tests trying to figure out why she suddenly developed this condition. So far, all we have is more questions… This has been yet another “spider” – one of the scariest. I have had many moments of just completely breaking down. But, every time, God renews my strength with His. He gives me peace in the anxiety, and He reminds me that His hand is in this. He is in control, even when I don’t understand. When this started, I felt so scared and frustrated, and I wanted so much for my husband to be here because there is just something about having your spouse - your partner - with you that gives you comfort in difficult situations…
But, instead, my husband was on yet another deployment, and here I've been, frightened, clueless, and on the verge of feeling completely overwhelmed, when God brought my focus back to Him. Throughout the past few months, God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways. He has taught me how to rely on Him, rather than on people. He has helped me to grow in so many ways over the past few months: In maturity, in knowledge and wisdom, and in some ways, understanding. Though I still have SO many questions and such a lack of knowledge regarding so many things, He has given me peace and comfort in knowing that He knows. He has increased my faith tremendously.
The list of “spiders” that have come out of the woodwork, just since my husband deployed, is so long it seems like (i.e. The day after he left, the pipes busted in our house and flooded our downstairs; our garage door broke and wouldn’t open/close; my best friend moved away; a close family member died from cancer; our daughter developed Epilepsy; our son fell and almost broke his nose; someone broke into our house while we were home - twice; our town was severely flooded to the point where people lost their lives; I found out I have a somewhat significant medical condition; not to mention, the whole “I have spiders in my house” thing, etc…) My point is that, through all of those things, God was there. He was right there with me. He was my encourager, my protector, my comfort, my strength. He held my hand through the hard things, and shared my joy through the good. When my heart was heavy, He held me, and showed me that He is there; He cares, and most of all, that He will sustain me. He will get me through.
God is ALWAYS there. He never breaks His promises. He always has time for us because we are His most important and most treasured job. God will never leave us feeling empty or hurt or disappointed because His ways, His plans, are far better than we could ever imagine. And, even when things don’t go exactly as we think they should, God will give us peace about it because His Word tells us “For God does not give us the spirit of fear, but of power of love, and of a sound mind.” He is not the author of confusion. God will always make things clear for us. He will always clearly show us His will, and then once we know what His will is, He allows us to choose whether to go along with it, or to act against it. No matter what we choose, He still loves us unconditionally.
So, the next time you are faced with one of life’s many “spiders”, try not to let the venom spread throughout your life, and instead, take a moment to step back, look around, and ask God what it is He’s trying to teach you. Pray and ask Him to be the vaccine that will heal you, make you stronger, and help you grow into the person He created you to be.
Ok, so not really, but it sounds dramatic, right?! I mean, there I was minding my own business, lounging on the couch, when I saw something move out of the corner of my eye. At first, I think I am imagining it, because upon looking, I don't see anything on the rug in the dining room, but I get up to check anyway just because I know if I don't, I will wake up to a monstrous snake or something wrapped around my dining table in the morning. SO... I get up and finally see it: this FREAKY looking spider w/ legs longer than a European super model's and about 1000 beady eyes - and they're all STARING at me. OH MY WORD!
SO... I start looking for things to squoosh it with - because of course, I'm barefoot and there's NO WAY I'm getting any closer than 10 feet from this thing - it's about half the size of a dollar bill (aka China - hello!) and could launch some kind of ninja counter attack against me at any minute. So, I'm running around, afraid to go into the other room because the second I let the monster out of my sight, I know it will go into hiding and begin plotting against me in the night. Then I see my defense: my 2 year old's tennis shoe. I pick it up and hurl it at the spider.
FYI: toddler sized shoes for spiders the size of China do not work so well in the squooshing department. This knowledge base was reinforced when I hurled my son's OTHER shoe at it, also missing, but not by enough to keep the creature from getting mad. By this time, the thing was spinning around in a fashion that somewhat reminded me of that all-too-well-known scene from The Exorcist (not that I've seen the movie; I've just heard about it). Then, I saw my saving grace!!!! (Bright, heavenly light shines down; angelic music plays mystically in the background) A box!!!
Thankfully, a friend had mailed a package for the kids that had arrived the day before, and there sat the empty box - it was heavy duty cardboard, solid, firm - and most importantly: BIG. I picked it up, making sure it was sealed closed - I didn't want the spider getting inside and turning it into some kind of hideout or something. Then, I slowly tiptoed over towards the rug, being careful to stay far enough back so that I can duck for cover if I miss and the freak arachnid decides to go all bad-spiderman on me or something.
I find my pitching position, I aim, and in the fastest slow motion I've ever seen, I throw the box at the spider. It lands on him and bounces off, as I take off running in the opposite direction. YEESSSS!!! I GOT HIM!!! I cautiously make my way back over to the area. I see his somewhat crippled and withered body, crumpled there on my rug, and then, he starts twitching.
Yes, I said "twitching".
Now, let me tell you, you just don't know wierd (or gross) until you've seen a spider twitching. I figure the creature is a mutant and will come back to life at any moment, so I pick up the box, careful not to touch the side that landed on him - nasty!) and use it to push him off of my rug, onto the wood floor, where I proceed to drown him in a shower of Raid. HAHA! Victory!!! I grab my broom and dust pan, and using the box again, I hold the dust pan in place so I can, from a distance, sweep his nasty little bug body into it. I would have held it, but spiders are sneaky little creatures - you never know when they're just playing dead. Like I said, "China" - this thing was industrial!
SO... I get him scooped up and dump him in the trash, but the little booger won't fall to the bottom ~ I have to get out my gloves and an empty milk jug, and of course, my good ole' trusty box :o) and use them to mash the trash down so that if that nasty thing does decide to come back to life, he'll have to go through today's supply of dirty diapers to get back to me. Beat THAT creature!!!
Now, here I am, back on the couch, looking around, slightly paranoid, and eyeing that suspicious looking piece of fuzz that keeps floating around the floor on the other side of the room. All I know is, that fuzz had better be careful: one gust of wind in the wrong direction and my box and I just might take it out!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That is a true story that happened to me a week or so ago. As you can tell, I am slightly afraid of spiders. I always have been. Every time I see a spider, my body just begins to tremble with this intense fear and anxiety, and that fact got me thinking…
We all have spiders in our lives. Not literal spiders necessarily, but rather things that creep into our lives, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes unwelcomed, unwanted… Sometimes, those things are frightening, sometimes they are saddening, overwhelming, hurtful. Sometimes they bring anger and frustration, confusion, exhaustion, and then there are even times when the “spiders” that appear in our lives leave us shaken to the core, almost paralyzed by their venom… For us Military wives, so many times, those things - those “spiders – come creeping in during deployments and/or separations.
During those times, we are usually physically on our own. We have our jobs/duties, our kids, our homes, the whole kit and caboodle – it is all resting on our shoulders. It is up to us to do everything; to keep our world around us going when our spouse is hundreds, or even thousands of miles away from us.
In those times, we often feel alone. Sure, there are days that aren’t so bad, and we do alright, but we’ve all had those moments when we just reach our breaking point. The teenager is acting out again; the house is a mess; the grocery store was packed and out of half the items on your list; the car needs an oil change; the baby is teething, sick, and cranky; the deadline for your project at work is approaching quicker than you can prepare; your back is aching; your college classes are far more demanding than you could have imagined; the washing machine just broke – again; the dog just ate your favorite pair of shoes; and you haven’t had a moment to yourself in weeks. There is a lot of stress that we all have to deal with on a daily basis, and many times, that “spider” we call stress, can fill us with the venom of tension, bitterness, anger, and resentment – IF we let it.
BUT, if we choose to look at things through a new light, we can see how God is using those things to work in us and through us in our everyday lives.
For example, remember my spider incident? Well, God used that to show me that He is faithful and will provide me with the strength and courage needed to accomplish whatever comes up. You see, had my husband been home when that horrid little thing came creeping out, I would have been in hysterics, jumping up onto the couch, hollering for him to come and “rescue me”. However, instead, God chose to wait until I was alone – on my own – at night – hours away from any close friends/family – to bring that spider into my life. God put me in a position where I had to make a choice: I could either be afraid and let the spider paralyze me and just give it free reign in the house, which would leave me in constant fear and paranoia knowing it was there, OR, I could be afraid and trust in the peace that He always gives, and lean on Him to give me the courage I need to “squoosh” the thing.
I have two young children – a 2 year old and a 1 year old. Our 2 year old son is very close with his Daddy, and he was handling this very lengthy deployment well, up until his Daddy came home for 2 weeks on Leave then had to go back overseas. Since then, our son has been acting out and showing some extreme signs of separation anxiety. It has been very rough dealing with that, and there have been several moments where I feel as though I have just reached my limit when it comes to patience. There are some days where it’s as though all I do is discipline him, and those days are frustrating for both of us. But, God continually renews my strength, and in those moments when I am at my wits end, and the “spider” just seems to be too big to handle, He brings to mind all of the reasons why I love our son so much…
Also during this deployment, our 1 year old daughter began having seizures. About 4 months ago, at 9 months old, she had the first of about 20 seizures. She has been in and out of the ER, hospitals, doctor’s offices, etc... She has seen/is seeing specialists, and has undergone countless tests trying to figure out why she suddenly developed this condition. So far, all we have is more questions… This has been yet another “spider” – one of the scariest. I have had many moments of just completely breaking down. But, every time, God renews my strength with His. He gives me peace in the anxiety, and He reminds me that His hand is in this. He is in control, even when I don’t understand. When this started, I felt so scared and frustrated, and I wanted so much for my husband to be here because there is just something about having your spouse - your partner - with you that gives you comfort in difficult situations…
But, instead, my husband was on yet another deployment, and here I've been, frightened, clueless, and on the verge of feeling completely overwhelmed, when God brought my focus back to Him. Throughout the past few months, God has revealed Himself to me in so many ways. He has taught me how to rely on Him, rather than on people. He has helped me to grow in so many ways over the past few months: In maturity, in knowledge and wisdom, and in some ways, understanding. Though I still have SO many questions and such a lack of knowledge regarding so many things, He has given me peace and comfort in knowing that He knows. He has increased my faith tremendously.
The list of “spiders” that have come out of the woodwork, just since my husband deployed, is so long it seems like (i.e. The day after he left, the pipes busted in our house and flooded our downstairs; our garage door broke and wouldn’t open/close; my best friend moved away; a close family member died from cancer; our daughter developed Epilepsy; our son fell and almost broke his nose; someone broke into our house while we were home - twice; our town was severely flooded to the point where people lost their lives; I found out I have a somewhat significant medical condition; not to mention, the whole “I have spiders in my house” thing, etc…) My point is that, through all of those things, God was there. He was right there with me. He was my encourager, my protector, my comfort, my strength. He held my hand through the hard things, and shared my joy through the good. When my heart was heavy, He held me, and showed me that He is there; He cares, and most of all, that He will sustain me. He will get me through.
God is ALWAYS there. He never breaks His promises. He always has time for us because we are His most important and most treasured job. God will never leave us feeling empty or hurt or disappointed because His ways, His plans, are far better than we could ever imagine. And, even when things don’t go exactly as we think they should, God will give us peace about it because His Word tells us “For God does not give us the spirit of fear, but of power of love, and of a sound mind.” He is not the author of confusion. God will always make things clear for us. He will always clearly show us His will, and then once we know what His will is, He allows us to choose whether to go along with it, or to act against it. No matter what we choose, He still loves us unconditionally.
So, the next time you are faced with one of life’s many “spiders”, try not to let the venom spread throughout your life, and instead, take a moment to step back, look around, and ask God what it is He’s trying to teach you. Pray and ask Him to be the vaccine that will heal you, make you stronger, and help you grow into the person He created you to be.
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