Reflections of a Butterfly

I just thought I would share something that happened today and how the Lord used it to remind me of His blessings and care for us... While running errands today, I had Laurelai in a buggy at the store while browsing through some things trying to find what I was looking for. Laurelai, who also wanted to look and began pulling items, one at a time, off of the shelf to examine. I calmly told her to put the item back, and explained that she may not touch anything without asking for and receiving permission first. She apologized and put the things back on the shelf. A moment later, she grabbed something else, and in the process, stood up in the buggy, causing it to roll and wobble & her to lose her balance; I firmly told her sit down and put it back, and explained that she could fall and get hurt badly by standing, and that if she touched anything else without permission that she would get a spanking for disobeying. Once she put the item back and sat back down, I told her that if she would wait patiently until I found what I was looking for, then I would let her pick out something that she would like to look at before moving on. She conceded, and sat there quietly while I searched for what I needed, occasionally asking to have a turn looking at one of the items I was looking at. While all of this was taking place, a woman I hadn't noticed standing nearby walked over and touched my shoulder. She said, "It is so nice to see a parent discipline her child in a kind, loving way, and teach her patience and obedience. I work here every day and I get so frustrated when the majority of parents I see come in here with kids who they either completely ignore and let them do whatever they want, usually tearing stuff up, just so they don't have to deal with fighting them, or they brush them off, too busy talking on their cell phone to pay attention. Others just scream and yell at their kids to "shut up!" or "leave [them] alone!"... It's sad... But when I see someone actually giving their child time and attention, talking with them in a respectful way, but showing authority and disciplining them when it's needed, it really encourages me, and reminds me that there is a little bit of hope out there!"She continued on for a while just being very complimentary, and after a busy week where I hadn't really been feeling the best about myself, it was such an encouraging blessing, and I was so thankful for her kind words... But that's not all...



While in the store, we also encountered one of the not-so-great parent-child situations the woman had previously mentioned. One child in the buggy was throwing a fit, hitting his mother as she pushed him down the aisle, as an older child continuously disobeyed - running off, grabbing merchandise, jumping out in front of other shoppers, and completely ignoring/disobeying his mother when she would say something to him - usually by screaming it, as the frustration of having her text messaging time interrupted... Laurelai has not yet learned discretion and when she sees other kids acting in a way she and Garrett are not allowed to act and not getting in trouble for it, it confuses her and she asks "why are they doing that?"... Today, she didn't ask, but attempted mimicking the other children, adopting their disrespectful attitudes and speaking in whiny baby talk. Immediately, I verbally told her that was unacceptable and when she chose to respond in a disrespectful way, I popped her hand and talked with her about why we do not speak that way and about correcting her sudden attitude. Laurelai apologized and went back to being her sweet positive self (the hand pop and talk reminded her that a bigger spanking or a *milk & pepper* lesson - ask me about that later - would come if she chose not to correct her bad choice), and we went about our business. Unbeknownst to me, the other mother, in the midst of half-heartedly trying to wrangle in her kids walked over and told me how "shocked" she was that my daughter, so young, would obey and respond like she did when I disciplined her, going on to explain that she had never seen that before and how she didn't know it was possible for kids to actually obey - even in situations where they wanted to do something different - without a huge fight and screaming match. Anyhow, the woman and I talked for a little while, and I had the opportunity to share part of my testimony and not just *how* I/we choose to discipline our kids, but WHY we choose that, etc... It was really awesome!


Don't get me wrong ~ my kids are not perfect, and I, with my parenting skills (or in many cases, lack thereof), could easily be, and often am, a prime example of what NOT to do, I have no doubt! I try to be a good, Godly parent, and my efforts are all to often interrupted by my failures at doing just that. But despite those failures, and the days when it seems as though my efforts at discipline are futile, resulting in nothing but my exhaustion, while the kids' behavior doesn't seem to be improving at all. Other days, I watch and listen to my kids and see exactly how much they have learned from those efforts that so often seem fruitless. It takes time, but OUR KIDS ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!


ANYWAY... My point in sharing all of this is because through all of this the Lord reminded me of how faithful He is... In His Word, God calls us to teach and discipline our children. Biblical spanking is a God-ordained form of discipline, however, I have heard countless Christians talk about how fearful they are to discipline their kids via spanking in public for fear of being reported as abusive, etc... So often, we get so caught up in worrying about how other people will react to our disciplining our children in public, labeling us as "mean parents" or "abusive", etc... Or that we will show up on some security camera doing something "terrible", that we NEGLECT our children and the call God has given each of us as parents by not disciplining them at all. I have felt those anxieties and fears before as well. I understand the thought processes that go along with all of that... HOWEVER, we need to remember that there is a HUGE difference between spanking and disciplining our kids in a Godly way and hitting or abusing our children.God reminded me today that all of those fears and worries do not matter. Yes, people around us might be shocked or offended or have a wrong outlook about our chosen discipline methods, BUT if we are disciplining our children in a Godly way, with love and respect, while still being firm and authoritative, then GOD WILL BLESS THAT! He will take care of all of those people and their opinions! Scripture even tells us that if we live in a way that is pleasing unto the Lord and He will make even our enemies at peace with us (Proverbs 16:7)!! Those people against spanking who will report you as abusive, so what?? God promised that if you are living a life pleasing to Him, He will take care of those people! It won't be a problem! God has already told us that He approves of those things, when done in a Godly, loving way, and He WANTS us to do them when necessary... He promises that He will NEVER forsake us. If He doesn't leave us or abandon us when we are not following His will, then how much more, how much closer will He stand beside us when we ARE following Him??? We just have to trust God enough to stop worrying about what other people might think, and start following God publicly. Stop worrying about being embarrassed or labeled or criticized and start focusing on doing what God calls us to do in order to raise children up who know how to be obedient and who Love the Lord and who want to follow them because they have grown up watching us, their parents, love and follow Him...


And just as God blessed me with the kind words from the store employee and with the opportunity to be able to share God's love and faithfulness through my testimony, and what an amazing blessing it was to see that even when I might feel frustrated and am struggling, not doing "well enough", and despite my constant failures and inadequacies, God still saw fit to give me the privilege of working through me, using me as a light of encouragement for someone else. What a tremendous blessing!!!


My point is, don't give up, and don't give in. Stand firm, and stop worrying so much about the infamous and unending opinions of this world, and know that you can do hard things - like disciplining your kids - because not only does God call you to do so, but Christ gives you strength to do all things (Philippians 4:13), no matter the difficulty, inconvenience, or unpopularity of following God. So be the kind of person you want your kids to grow up to be, because they will follow in your footsteps... Walk in a way that will lead them to Christ.



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When Mother’s Day rolls around, it always gets me thinking of the special women who have been influential in my life… Those precious women who have taught me, guided me, been examples to me, encouraged me, and stood by me… So, today, Mothers’ Day, in honor of a few of the wonderful women God has blessed me with in my life, I thought I would share exactly why they are so precious to me…




The first woman I want to tell you about has been one of my best and closest friends for approximately fifteen years. She started out as my Youth Leader at church, then became my Sunday School teacher, and when I was fifteen years old, we, along with the rest of the youth group and leaders, went on a mission trip to Italy, where, in a private moment, this beautiful, precious, vivacious woman shared part of her testimony with me, and thanks to her example, her honesty, and her guidance, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord, and Savior that night, and I have never been the same since. This woman has stood by my side, both literally and figuratively, always being honest with me, loving me, encouraging me, praying with and for me… She has cried with me, laughed with me, told me when I was being a brat or making bad choices, and she has celebrated with me over victories. She has held me accountable, defended me, helped me to grow in maturity, in faith, and in grace. She has been an example of a courageous, bold, passionate wife, mother, daughter, and friend, and has taught me that standing up for what is right and for God’s holy truth, and being myself – the person God has designed and called me to be – in order to glorify and honor Him is what matters most in this life. She has taught me about the importance of having integrity, being trustworthy, being honest, and standing strong on the things that matter… She has also taught me that there is often a difference between Biblical truth and someone’s opinion/preference. She is one of the few people in my life who, no matter how rarely we get to see each other, no matter how long it’s been since we’ve talked, we always pick right up where we left off. She is one of the few who I know I could call for any reason, at any time, and that she would come running if I needed her. I cannot imagine my life without her in it. So, Kelly W., I love you, my friend, and I cherish you, your family, and our friendship. Thank you for being you, and for loving me the way you do.



The next woman I want to tell you about is someone who loves God and people more genuinely than anyone I’ve ever known. This precious woman is a shining example of what it means to truly live your faith. She gives of herself with fervor, always choosing to serve those around her – even complete strangers. She was one of the first people in my life who, when she learned I needed prayer about something, didn’t just say “I’ll pray for you”; instead, she grabbed my hand and said, “Let’s pray.” ~ She truly has that meek and gentle spirit, and being around her makes me feel closer to the Lord. Talking with her, spending time with her strengthens the desire in my heart to seek God and follow Him. She exhuberates joy, even as she goes through significant trials... She has taught me to look for God in every little detail of life, as she shares with me all of the ways she sees Him working and revealing himself in her own life ~ whether it be through a hospital stay or a trip to the beach or in a fussy child or a gift from a friend or in preparing a meal… By example, she has taught me to open my eyes and take notice that God isn’t just some distant person who we check in with and read about at church on Sundays… He is all around us, intricately involved in every minute detail of our lives, weaving a beautiful tapestry out of things that we so often overlook… and she has taught me that sometimes, even the things we deem as ugly or bad or unnecessary or hurtful are things that He is using and will often make something amazing and beautiful out of them… I have only known her for a short few years, but it seems like we have been through a lifetime together. She and her family have become such important parts of my life. Through them – through her – I have learned, by not only talking with her, but by observing her actions, how to be a better wife, a better mother, a better daughter and friend, and I have seen a true example of what it means to “love the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.” (Deut. 6:5) Marilyn C., you are the God-Mother of my children. I am so thankful to have you in my life. You have taught me what it means to submit to God, submit to my husband, and that being a good mother, wife, woman, does not mean following a cookie-cutter pattern ~ that it is about following the Lord and letting Him show me what will work best for my individual family, without worrying about what other people think, or what other people are or are not doing. You have taught me to stop looking at other people as my go-to example and to focus on Jesus Christ, letting God’s word and His Holy Spirit be my guide. Thank you for encouraging me in my faith and in so many other ways. I love you.





Next is a woman I have known for about 10 years or so now. She has a quiet, graceful spirit, but she is also one of the strongest women I know. She has exemplified what it means to have an amazingly strong work ethic. She is a true southern belle, sweet, loving, faithful, and she has a heart for family and a deep love for the Lord. One of the things she has taught me is the importance of not taking things – especially people – for granted. She is a true steel magnolia, beautiful, full of grace, standing strong no matter what life throws her way ~ even in the midst of battles, sorrows, hurts, and fears, she draws on the strength of the Lord to carry her through; she never gives up. From her, I have learned what it means to truly be a lady. She has taught me the importance of putting first things first, and not letting other less or un-important things get in the way of what matters most. She has taught me that it is important to learn from your mistakes, and to look to God for guidance as to how to correct things. She has been a true example of faithfulness, always consistent in keeping her commitments and honoring her word. She has been a courageous example of self-control, goodness, and gentleness, and has taught me by example what it looks like to honor and respect your husband. I’ve always heard horror stories of mothers-in-law, and how awful they can be. I am thankful that I’ve had the opposite experience, and that I have a Godly mother-in-love who is kind and loving and sweet, and who I count as a friend. Thank you, Gail S., for being a wonderful blessing in my life.





The last woman I want to tell you about is someone who I have known all my life. She has been my biggest supporter, encourager, the person wanting nothing but the best for me and always doing whatever she can to help me succeed. She is someone who has bent over backwards taking care of me, serving me, blessing me. She has made countless sacrifices for the simple reason that she loves me, often without any recognition or thanks, many times going completely unnoticed. She has taught me the value of giving of yourself for the love of another person. She has taught me what it means to work hard and well. She is one of the most giving, supportive, helpful people I know, always willing to step in and do what needs to be done in order to help someone else or to make something happen. She has taught me the importance of both holding my tongue when necessary, and also speaking my mind when it matters. She has been there for me – always – rooting me on, cheering for me, dishing out tough love when I needed it, and always telling and showing me in every way she knew how exactly how much she loves me. She has taught me how much fun it is to play with my kids. I have watched her face seemingly impossible, sometimes terrifying, circumstances with immense strength and determination; she has taught me that just because things are hard, there is no reason to give up. Because of her example, I have learned to stand strong through the trials that come in life, and because of the strength she taught me, instilled in me, I have overcome countless obstacles. She is the one who taught me to be silly, and she is the one who snuggled up with me to watch Cinderella or The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast for the ten thousandth time, without complaint... She kept my secrets, and loved me at times when I was at my absolute worst. She held me when I cried, and rejoiced with me in times of happiness. She encouraged me to pursue my dreams and goals, and told me I was beautiful, even though I didn’t always feel that way. She kept me safe and loved me even when I made mistakes. She would give up just about any/everything in her possession in order to meet the needs of my family. She volunteers tirelessly, and she has taught me the importance and significance of “behind the scenes” work, by doing things that people notice, but never think about until they aren’t done. She is strong and beautiful and dedicated and faithful. She is an amazing and incredible woman, and without her, not only would I not be the person I am, but I would not be here at all! ;oP She is my Mamma, and I love her indescribably. Shannon B., thank you for… everything… You are precious to me and I am so thankful for you…






Happy Mothers Day <3