Reflections of a Butterfly

I just thought I would share something that happened today and how the Lord used it to remind me of His blessings and care for us... While running errands today, I had Laurelai in a buggy at the store while browsing through some things trying to find what I was looking for. Laurelai, who also wanted to look and began pulling items, one at a time, off of the shelf to examine. I calmly told her to put the item back, and explained that she may not touch anything without asking for and receiving permission first. She apologized and put the things back on the shelf. A moment later, she grabbed something else, and in the process, stood up in the buggy, causing it to roll and wobble & her to lose her balance; I firmly told her sit down and put it back, and explained that she could fall and get hurt badly by standing, and that if she touched anything else without permission that she would get a spanking for disobeying. Once she put the item back and sat back down, I told her that if she would wait patiently until I found what I was looking for, then I would let her pick out something that she would like to look at before moving on. She conceded, and sat there quietly while I searched for what I needed, occasionally asking to have a turn looking at one of the items I was looking at. While all of this was taking place, a woman I hadn't noticed standing nearby walked over and touched my shoulder. She said, "It is so nice to see a parent discipline her child in a kind, loving way, and teach her patience and obedience. I work here every day and I get so frustrated when the majority of parents I see come in here with kids who they either completely ignore and let them do whatever they want, usually tearing stuff up, just so they don't have to deal with fighting them, or they brush them off, too busy talking on their cell phone to pay attention. Others just scream and yell at their kids to "shut up!" or "leave [them] alone!"... It's sad... But when I see someone actually giving their child time and attention, talking with them in a respectful way, but showing authority and disciplining them when it's needed, it really encourages me, and reminds me that there is a little bit of hope out there!"She continued on for a while just being very complimentary, and after a busy week where I hadn't really been feeling the best about myself, it was such an encouraging blessing, and I was so thankful for her kind words... But that's not all...



While in the store, we also encountered one of the not-so-great parent-child situations the woman had previously mentioned. One child in the buggy was throwing a fit, hitting his mother as she pushed him down the aisle, as an older child continuously disobeyed - running off, grabbing merchandise, jumping out in front of other shoppers, and completely ignoring/disobeying his mother when she would say something to him - usually by screaming it, as the frustration of having her text messaging time interrupted... Laurelai has not yet learned discretion and when she sees other kids acting in a way she and Garrett are not allowed to act and not getting in trouble for it, it confuses her and she asks "why are they doing that?"... Today, she didn't ask, but attempted mimicking the other children, adopting their disrespectful attitudes and speaking in whiny baby talk. Immediately, I verbally told her that was unacceptable and when she chose to respond in a disrespectful way, I popped her hand and talked with her about why we do not speak that way and about correcting her sudden attitude. Laurelai apologized and went back to being her sweet positive self (the hand pop and talk reminded her that a bigger spanking or a *milk & pepper* lesson - ask me about that later - would come if she chose not to correct her bad choice), and we went about our business. Unbeknownst to me, the other mother, in the midst of half-heartedly trying to wrangle in her kids walked over and told me how "shocked" she was that my daughter, so young, would obey and respond like she did when I disciplined her, going on to explain that she had never seen that before and how she didn't know it was possible for kids to actually obey - even in situations where they wanted to do something different - without a huge fight and screaming match. Anyhow, the woman and I talked for a little while, and I had the opportunity to share part of my testimony and not just *how* I/we choose to discipline our kids, but WHY we choose that, etc... It was really awesome!


Don't get me wrong ~ my kids are not perfect, and I, with my parenting skills (or in many cases, lack thereof), could easily be, and often am, a prime example of what NOT to do, I have no doubt! I try to be a good, Godly parent, and my efforts are all to often interrupted by my failures at doing just that. But despite those failures, and the days when it seems as though my efforts at discipline are futile, resulting in nothing but my exhaustion, while the kids' behavior doesn't seem to be improving at all. Other days, I watch and listen to my kids and see exactly how much they have learned from those efforts that so often seem fruitless. It takes time, but OUR KIDS ARE WORTH THE EFFORT!!


ANYWAY... My point in sharing all of this is because through all of this the Lord reminded me of how faithful He is... In His Word, God calls us to teach and discipline our children. Biblical spanking is a God-ordained form of discipline, however, I have heard countless Christians talk about how fearful they are to discipline their kids via spanking in public for fear of being reported as abusive, etc... So often, we get so caught up in worrying about how other people will react to our disciplining our children in public, labeling us as "mean parents" or "abusive", etc... Or that we will show up on some security camera doing something "terrible", that we NEGLECT our children and the call God has given each of us as parents by not disciplining them at all. I have felt those anxieties and fears before as well. I understand the thought processes that go along with all of that... HOWEVER, we need to remember that there is a HUGE difference between spanking and disciplining our kids in a Godly way and hitting or abusing our children.God reminded me today that all of those fears and worries do not matter. Yes, people around us might be shocked or offended or have a wrong outlook about our chosen discipline methods, BUT if we are disciplining our children in a Godly way, with love and respect, while still being firm and authoritative, then GOD WILL BLESS THAT! He will take care of all of those people and their opinions! Scripture even tells us that if we live in a way that is pleasing unto the Lord and He will make even our enemies at peace with us (Proverbs 16:7)!! Those people against spanking who will report you as abusive, so what?? God promised that if you are living a life pleasing to Him, He will take care of those people! It won't be a problem! God has already told us that He approves of those things, when done in a Godly, loving way, and He WANTS us to do them when necessary... He promises that He will NEVER forsake us. If He doesn't leave us or abandon us when we are not following His will, then how much more, how much closer will He stand beside us when we ARE following Him??? We just have to trust God enough to stop worrying about what other people might think, and start following God publicly. Stop worrying about being embarrassed or labeled or criticized and start focusing on doing what God calls us to do in order to raise children up who know how to be obedient and who Love the Lord and who want to follow them because they have grown up watching us, their parents, love and follow Him...


And just as God blessed me with the kind words from the store employee and with the opportunity to be able to share God's love and faithfulness through my testimony, and what an amazing blessing it was to see that even when I might feel frustrated and am struggling, not doing "well enough", and despite my constant failures and inadequacies, God still saw fit to give me the privilege of working through me, using me as a light of encouragement for someone else. What a tremendous blessing!!!


My point is, don't give up, and don't give in. Stand firm, and stop worrying so much about the infamous and unending opinions of this world, and know that you can do hard things - like disciplining your kids - because not only does God call you to do so, but Christ gives you strength to do all things (Philippians 4:13), no matter the difficulty, inconvenience, or unpopularity of following God. So be the kind of person you want your kids to grow up to be, because they will follow in your footsteps... Walk in a way that will lead them to Christ.



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